Albert Einstein lives in Romania

I'm not kidding. He does, really. He was my doctor this past week when I had to go to the Hipocrite. I got my papers back from the police and now needed to go to the Psychiatric Evaluation part of getting my visa. Monday morning Angela and I set out to the doc. Things start off well when the nurse tells me to go on in and I open the door to the office and someone else is in there. When that person leaves, I knock and enter and see this white haired gentleman sitting behind an old table staring at me. The room is small, dingy white and feels old. I smile at him and say that I need to get a paper for the Department of Strangers. He asks me in staccato English if I have paid for the test and I say no, but I will. I give him my passport and he fills in some information and asks me where I live. I don't know really. I tell the taxis one location and walk from there. None of my luggage tags has that address on it, and the address I've given to everyone for mail is the LOC office address. Hmmm. I tell him what I know and the bloc number with apartment number and say that my roommate is outside and I will ask her. I'm sure that look great to him (incidentally the address I gave him was correct). So he asks me to get up on an ancient medical bed and I can't help wonder how many others have laid on this sheet. He tests my reflexes and then has me close my eyes and put my finger on my nose. Did you know that is how to test for craziness? If you can put your finger on your nose while lying down with your eyes closed, you aren't crazy. Yes, go ahead a sigh that sigh of relief. The next part of the test is standing (with my eyes closed, apparently this is a key determineration factor) with arms raised for about 20 seconds. Lastly, I sit down -- i should add at this point that Angela said the test would take 3-5 minutes, then she recalculated and said 7 minutes because he writes slow and I have been in here like 15-17 minutes. I'm getting nervous. So I'm sitting down and he writes 4 X 5 (so glad I paid attention to math in 2nd grade!!) and I confidently answer twenty in Romanian! Well, he's not done yet. Next comes 4 X 6, and I answer 24, BUT NO he wants to know which number is bigger. Fortunately, I know that one too. Then he is on to questions about kilograms and kilometers and I mess all these up and eventually say "In America we don't use this system and so I am unfamiliar with how to calculate these". At last he has me sign that big book (does anyone ever look at that book??), he fills out a form and stamps it not once, but twice (having things stamped is a BIG deal in Romania. The Stamp gives you great powers) and stands up. He helps me put on my coat (he is a doctor after all and you MUST wear a coat at all times to avoid death) and walks me out to pay. We have had a sweet conversation as he filled out the official paperwork and he says something to the nurse/receptionist about me that is very kind and the nurse says something about my smile. I pay and I leave with my bonifide NOT CRAZY (yet) paperwork. Fortunately after that Angela and I were going to meet the Americans in town and when Angela arrived without me ( I had stopped to drop off pictures to be developed), she took full advantage of the situation to tell them that she left me at the hospital screaming. Oh well, maybe next time.